Pregnancy loss. An open letter.
This blog is going to be structured differently from my other blogs. I have no professional training in counseling but pregnancy loss is an issue that often arises with women who have come to see me. This can be in the form of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, failed IVF/IUI cycle, abortion, stillbirth. Often I've found that in most cases they didn't receive the emotional or at times physical support they needed to cope and deal with their pregnancy loss.
Most women hadn't really spoken to anyone about their experiences and consequently hadn't been able to grieve properly. Eventually, when they try to conceive again, they struggle with fear of artwork by solar sisters
losing another pregnancy, anxiety over whether their body is ready.
So I want to talk about it and shed light on something that is often covered up, glossed over, or not given attention.
In researching this topic, I did a short course on caring for women experiencing pregnancy loss and I spoke to a close friend who is a psychologist and has also experienced her own pregnancy loss.
There was a diverse range of reactions and responses but I observed a few core ideas.
Acknowledgment of your loss. If no one has said this to you, let me say I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Regardless of the stage of pregnancy, it can be devastating news. It's ok to take some time to process this. For my psychologist friend, she processed her loss by writing a letter to the baby and followed what would have been the dates of its scans.
Information of why it's happened and what will occur. You may have not been able to take in all the information that the doctor has given you. You may have not been given any at all. However, knowing what happens to your body after pregnancy loss and what to expect can help. This site goes through why pregnancy loss could have occurred and what artwork by brian rea
Communicate. Talking to someone may be the furthest thing on your mind. But it can be incredibly helpful to speak about your experiences. In my treatments, I offer a safe space for women to share their history in the context of our treatments and they have often told me that it's been helpful. If you don't know where to start the miscarriage association has a helpline and an online chat.
Support. Grief is a heavy burden to carry alone. You may have reached out for support previously but found none. I'm sorry if that has happened to you. Here are some links for you to access when you are ready to reach out.
- Pregnancy loss and pregnancy-related problems. This is a site that has links to various organisations for specific conditions or issues such as PCOS, Asherman's syndrome, stillbirth, molar pregnancies, antenatal results and choices.
- The Miscarriage Association live chat
- The Miscarriage Association online support groups
- Tommy's, baby loss support and information
The effects of pregnancy loss can be far-reaching. I'm here to help or point you in the right direction.
Rebekah has supported women at various points of their fertility journey in the last 6 years. Each woman and couple comes with their individual story and she is passionate about empowering them with knowledge. She approaches every case with compassion and gentleness. Contact her now to see if she can help you.